-
You are my daily dose of madness -
You're hotter than this candle -
This candle burns longer than my patience -
This candle lasts longer than most of my relationships -
The day doesn't ruin itself. -
Life is tough, but at least you don't have ugly kids -
Life is hard, but at least you don't have an ugly child -
The best thing about you is me -
The "V" in Valentine's Day stands for Vodka -
Thank you for being you -
Thanks for all the orgasms | Spicy Candle 🌶️ -
Dad of the fucking year -
Coordinator of the Entire Shit Show -
Coffee makes me happy -
Coffee Lover -
Cocaine & Hookers -
Chaos Coordinator -
Groom -
Bride -
Hello, motherfucker -
Please don't screw in the bathroom -
Please light after shitting -
Please don't do coke in the toilet -
Please don't do cocaine in the living room
